When I am able to accept the help of my higher power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called upon to do. I am overcomoing my fears. I am acquiring a comfortable new confidence.
"Courage is fear that has said its prayers."
so tonight i went to my first al-non meeting. these meetings are for people that grew up in alcohalic environments...because of my dad's situation i felt like i needed to attend at least one to see what it was like. so my aunt took me to my first one tonight and i've learned so much already. i never thought that 50+ people could be in the same situation at me and relate to me that much...and i've never met these people. most of them were 21 and up so i was one of the youngest...i didn't say much because i wanted to observe and listen most of the time. it was one of those things where you go around and say "i'm lindsay" and everyone says, "hi lindsay" haha that always makes me laugh. but tonight i've learned to worry about myself more...not worry about what everyone else needs and how everyone else feels and focus on me for once. not that i'm going to be some selfish bitch now lol...i'm always going to be considerate and kind towards others but i'm not going to do too much for other people anymore. one of the sponsors said something that really made sense. he said, "it took me a while to realize that my daughter has a disease and that there is a person underneath it all, she's just really sick. so when she acts a certain way or says all these mean and hateful things...it's the alcohalic talking. i will never forget the day that she was so drunk that she could barely stand up and she gave me this look and that's when i knew she really wanted my help and all my anger went away." i think that at some point all of my anger could go away...but from the looks of things now, it isn't happening. they have to want help and you can't force them or try and convince them. they say that alcohalics drink to ease pain but at some point the pain will over shine that quick fix. so the meeting went fabulous and i will be going to more...
also, i'm going to alabama this weekend...the deep south lol. i'm so excited because i haven't seen my besty in foreverrrr!! i've never been before either but from what she's told me it's wild lol. i'm so pumped and i'm glad her and whitney will be here during the summer.
here is the "signs of spring" collection...i love these
random...
yep it's mine except she's white instead of orange. she's getting a new paint job next week:) can't wait for hot weather...
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