Trust

–noun

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.
3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.
5. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
6. the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed: a position of trust.
7. charge, custody, or care: to leave valuables in someone's trust.
8. something committed or entrusted to one's care for use or safekeeping, as an office, duty, or the like; responsibility; charge.

ok so last night was another al-non meeting. the meeting was way bigger this time and it was very emotional for some people. the topic of the night was trust... having trouble trusting not only oneself but family, friends, and others. this went for almost everyone...going from trusting the alcoholic for so long and all of that being pulled out from underneath you and very crucial. i did start to get upset but tried to hold it in...i didn't need to because i shouldn't feel embarrassed or scared when attending these meetings. the topic last night really hit home for me and was a huge discussion. i'm finding that these meetings really are helping me and making me realize that i can't do everything and i can't fix everything in this situation. it's all starting to make sense to me now...even from only going to 2 meetings i'm finding myself to be less paranoid about what other people are doing, saying about me, writing about me, etc. i've had the tendency to care too much about what others think and worry about making my family/friends happy before making myself happy and doing things for me. i remember driving around one day and saying to myself...somebody wake me up. someone make me realize that i can't do everything when i want to and i can't make everything okay. i can make things better and make my contributions but i can't heal everything and i can't be in control all the time. after broken promises, being let down and lied to so many times...that trust was completely ripped out from under me. i'm workin on it...

more hannah stouffer...