i love that her work is masuline and feminine...i want some of her work for myself:)
in other news...i'm no longer going to alabama to see my besty:( i'm really sad cause i was so excited but i'm going in april instead! tomorrow is nat jones birthday so things are gonna get crazy tomorrow night lol. also, carolina plays tomorrow night so i'll definitely be tuned in.
my aunt/godmother said this to me tonight and i started crying..."You deserve happiness. A lot of it."
the thing is...i do. the things i've overcome in life and what i'm still dealing with everyday...i deserve a lot more then what i'm getting. i'm not saying that i'm some sad person all the time but this moment in my life there is a lot going on and i'm trying to keep my head up each and every day. as hard as i work, all the love i give, how thoughtful, considerate, and helpful i am i feel like i deserve more but i can't make that happen...i just take it day by day. all i've tried to do in life is ignore the things that bring me down and keep my head up at all times. most of the time i do but i have those days where i just wanna be alone and hide from the world. i do like my alone time and never want people to think i'm ignoring them or trying to be distant from them, i just need my own space every once in a while. i think everyone does at some point. .sometimes i look back at things, people, or situations that i've been upset about and just think to myself, "why am i crying over this" like when i put time and energy into something and it falls through and i get let down...i take it hard. i know it may sound kinda silly but i just have a lot of heart and i've always admired that about myself. i just can't thank my friends and family (except certain ppl) enough for being there for me and lifting me up at times when i wanted to stay down.
last thing...i've always loved this song and i listen to it almost everyday
Keep Singin' My Song - Christina Aguilera
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
& Nobody's gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothings been going my way lately
So I decided right here and now that my outlooks gotta change
That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
For everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feeling like they won't let me live life
& Take the time to look at what is mine
I see every lesson completely
I thank God for what I got from above
I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
Keep on singing my song
I never wanna dwell on my pain again
There's no use in reliving how I hurt back then
Remembering all of the hell I felt when I was running out of faith
Every step I vowed to take was towards a better day
Cause I'm about to
Say goodbye to every single lie
& All the fears I've held too long inside
Everytime I felt I could try
All the negativity I had inside
For too long I've been struggling. I couldn't go on
But now I've found I'm feeling strong and moving on
I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
I'm gonna keep on singing my song
Whoa, & everytime I tried to be what they wanted from me
It never came naturally
So I ended up in misery, wasn't able to see
All the good around me
They wasted so much energy on what they thought of me
Simply just remembering to breathe
I'm human, I ain't able to please
Everyone at the same time, so now I find
My peace of mind living one day at a time
I'm human and I answer to one god
It comes down to one love
Until I get to heave above
I've made the decision
Never to give up
Til the I day I die no matter what
I'm gonna carry on & keep on singing my song.....
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